Funny New Year Quotes

Every New Year brings with itself an excellent occasion of merriment and joy. Here are some of the funniest quotes on New Year that will surely add a new jest to the ball. 

funny new year quotes

There is hardly anyone who can refuse to acknowledge the significance of a fresh new year and a grand chance to celebrate every moment of the year bygone. We party, not only for our small and big achievements, but also for the ultimate failures in our account and swear to make the best out of it in the coming year. Thanks to some great composition by a few cool authors, you have much more reasons to laugh and go berserk on this gala day.

Some funny new year quotes

  • I would say happy new year but it's not happy; it's exactly the same as last year except colder.
    Robert Clark
  • New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.
    Mark Twain
  • Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to.
    Bill Vaughn
  • This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to.
    P J O'Rourke
  • Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.
    Oprah Winfrey
  • New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.
    James Agate
  • The only way to spend New Year's Eve is either quietly with friends or in a brothel. Otherwise when the evening ends and people pair off, someone is bound to be left in tears.
    W.H. Auden
  • Many years ago I resolved never to bother with New Year’s resolutions, and I’ve stuck with it ever since.
    Dave Beard
  • New Year's Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
    Mark Twain
  • An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.
    Bill Vaughn
  • Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average. Which means you've met your New Year's resolution.
    Jay Leno
  • A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
  • He who breaks a resolution is a weakling; He who makes one is a fool.
    F.M. Knowles
  • May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions.
    Joey Adams
  • Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.
    Oscar Wilde
  • May the New Year bring you courage to break your resolutions early! My own plan is to swear off every kind of virtue, so that I triumph even when I fall!
    Aleister Crowley, Moonchild
For more quotations on new year, please refer to this post: Quotes for New Year